She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
