He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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