All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
