I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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