OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
