Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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