He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
