i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
