so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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