I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
