It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
