can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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