HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
