Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
