I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it's like heaven, but drunker
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
