No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
