We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
