What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i dont even know how to be here
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
