It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
