That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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