Yo dont text me then not text me
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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