I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
