U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
