im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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