Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
