the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
