I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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