Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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