how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
