i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
