people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We have started to decorate penises.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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