You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
