It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
