I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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