Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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