you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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