Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
