Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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