You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
