Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
