no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm at about main and main street
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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