Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
