bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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