4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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