My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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