so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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