My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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