Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
