He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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