Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ugly people sure do ruin things
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
